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Buch's Shenanigans

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Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Buchalter97 on Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:32 am

HELLO ALL YOU PEOPLE! Or whatever you may be. This is a topic for the humorous side in all of us. If you have something funny you'd like to share, put it up. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT. Hilarity of all kind is welcome, and encouraged. Start a flame war and I'll fill your life with trolling and scorn. So behave here. Remember it's all fun and games, till somebody get's F'd up the A, and ends up butthurt. PUN DEFINITELY INTENDED.



NOW to start us off, I'd like to propose a contest. Whoever can tell the best joke, whether you write it yourself or just randomly heard it somewhere, if you think it's frickin' awesome, post it and the funniest one shall be judged by me and win. The prize for such contest? WHO CARES? YOU STILL WON! Very Happy Now then....let the shenanigans....BEGIN!
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:38 am

Here's a classic one I heard about five years ago; I found it hilarious then, and it still is now, depending on what kind of things you find funny. :/

"One day a college professor was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron,
and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up.
The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.
The kid replied,
'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'."
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Domo_Mira on Sun Mar 25, 2012 1:30 am

Kitsune wrote:Here's a classic one I heard about five years ago; I found it hilarious then, and it still is now, depending on what kind of things you find funny. :/

"One day a college professor was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron,
and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up.
The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.
The kid replied,
'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'."

LOL
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:34 am

Hmm, I think a new rule shall be added by me.
No posting consecutively for this; it gives people less of a chance to win if you constantly put up something funnier in a string of posts. I hope everyone else agrees. ^^

Oh, and if nobody posts something funny, but just comments, that counts as non-consecutive.
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A Blond Joke

Post  (GL)Virgil on Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:16 am

A Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead walk up to a Mirror. This Mirror will suck you up inside it if you lie to it.
The Redhead goes up first and says, "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" and the mirror sucked her in.
The Brunette goes up for a try and says, "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" and like the Redhead the mirror sucked her in.
Lastly, the Blonde goes up to the mirror and says "I think-......" And the mirror sucked her in
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Buchalter97 on Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:37 pm

Kitsune wrote:Hmm, I think a new rule shall be added by me.
No posting consecutively for this; it gives people less of a chance to win if you constantly put up something funnier in a string of posts. I hope everyone else agrees. ^^

Oh, and if nobody posts something funny, but just comments, that counts as non-consecutive.

Though I see your point, more than one post will not give anyone an advantage. The winner will be based off whoever posted the funniest one, so if someone posts 5 decent jokes, the guy who almost made me cry I was laughing so hard will win. As for comments. Unless it's witty commentary about that joke, try not to just clog up the topic with "LOL that joke was so f**king funny! lmao" Enjoy the joke but don't get carried away.
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:54 pm

Alright, since there aren't really any restrictions to this contest... >_>

This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend.
He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the Rail Road tracks one day, he hears this whistle
-- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle,
to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening.
While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling.
He grabs a baseball bat from the closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an
unrecognizable lump of metal.

His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes to the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man:
"Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replies: "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:46 pm

just cause buch said dont do it

LOL THAT WAS JUST TOO AH FUNNY HAR HAR HAR *succesful cluttering* =D

jk <--sign of a joke *loophole FOUND*
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:20 pm

*Facepalm* I knew Tails would be the first one to find a loophole...
Anyways, I think it's time for another one to post.
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the
baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said,
"Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed,
"I think Mommy ate it!"
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:12 pm

^OMG XD
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:18 pm

Alright, I think I'll wait for someone to post one now...
Really not fun for me if I'm the only one posting jokes. T_T
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:41 pm

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:44 pm

xD I still remember that one, lol; it's funny how a lot of people think we'll react that way, too.
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:51 pm

1 more THIS ONE IS A TAD DIRTY

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:58 pm

Lol, if that was a blonde joke, that's the best one I've read ever.

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:00 pm

^someone did that in OOC yesterday
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:06 pm

>:/ Well, sorry I'm not on when they want to post stuff like this. ^^
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:07 pm

well im sorry i cant drag you on D=<
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:10 pm

>_< Well, I'm sorry I'm not on for you to drag me on! >=D
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:20 pm

Well im sorry i cant force you on then you can get off then i drag you back on to be here >=D Counter that! 50th post *pant pant* went from like 9 to 50 lol
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:38 pm

>:3 I'm sorry I can't force you to force me to get on so I can get off so you can drag me back on. ^^
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:42 pm

Challenge accepted! D=< *deep breathe* Im sorry i cant force myself to force you to be here then to force you off just to force you back on to make you leave then come back by force!
i think i messed up somewhere
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Kitsune on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:57 pm

Well, if you think you messed up...
I can't force you to force me to force you to force me to force you to get me off the computer, then get me back on to get off, THEN drag me back on for the game. ^^
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Buchalter97 on Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:16 pm

Kitsune wrote:Lol, if that was a blonde joke, that's the best one I've read ever.

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Copywrite infringement. Virgil posted the exact same joke in this thread. D:< Kit you should know better. *crosses joke off the list* ALSO. @ tails, new rule, no freaking loopholes. Clutter is clutter, silly catman. *sprays with water* Seriously, jokes and humorous things only. Do it again and I fill your life with angry dogs and mail all your fish to canada.
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Re: Buch's Shenanigans

Post  Tails on Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:17 pm

Buchalter97 wrote:
Kitsune wrote:Lol, if that was a blonde joke, that's the best one I've read ever.

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Copywrite infringement. Virgil posted the exact same joke in this thread. D:< Kit you should know better. *crosses joke off the list* ALSO. @ tails, new rule, no freaking loopholes. Clutter is clutter, silly catman. *sprays with water* Seriously, jokes and humorous things only. Do it again and I fill your life with angry dogs and mail all your fish to canada.

hey i posted my 2 jokes
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